


The unexpected foursome

by ChristiWinchester03



Category: SHAKESPEARE William - Works, The Iliad - Homer, The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller
Genre: M/M, Multi, Smut, i have not read the iliad, i know nothing about any of these people, just so you know, or the song of achilles, shakespeare and Plato discuss patrochilles, shitpost, this is a joke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:48:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29895876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChristiWinchester03/pseuds/ChristiWinchester03
Summary: Shakespeare and Plato argue about wether Plato or Achilles were the top in the afterlife. They decide to find out.
Relationships: Achilles/Patroclus of Opus (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore), Achilles/Patroclus/Shakespeare/Plato, Achilles/William Shakespeare, Patroclus of Opus/Plato
Comments: 11
Kudos: 8





	The unexpected foursome

**Author's Note:**

> I am not sorry. This is for my friend Apolline. I am probably gonna use wattpad slang to torture her more

It was the Year 1616 when Shakespeare died. When he woke up in the afterlife he knew _exactly_ what to do. He had read about Plato, the old philosopher from Greece and his certain opinions on Achilles and Patroclus. Shakespeare could not believe it. Plato thought Achilles was the bottom in their relationship. _Achilles!_ It was quite obvious in Williams eyes. Patroclus was Achilles’ bitch.

It didn’t take long for Shakespeare to find Plato. Plato was in fact waiting for him, he had apparently been looking over him and waiting for this discussion.

”Well if it isn’t William Shakespeare, I must say, your work is quite something. But to think Patroclus was the top is outrageous! Achilles was obviously a power bottom! Not only a power bottom, but a power bottom who could not cook for the life of him!” Plato said once he met Shakespeare and so began their long discussion. They argued about this for hours until they snapped.

”Fine! Why don’t we ask them, if you’re so sure of this!” Shakespeare said.

”fine by me!” Plato stubbornly answered.

—

Achilles and Patroclus was relaxing under a tree, Achilles’ head in Patroclus’ lap when Two men came running for them.

”whatever is all this about?!” Achilles said sitting up.

”this man seems to think that Patroclus is the bottom of your relationship and-“ 

“Plato! Wherever are your manners?! Introduce yourself and then let’s talk about their sex life. Sorry gentlemen, my name is William Shakespeare, and this rude old man is Plato, now where were we? Right. Patroclus, certainly you are the one getting fucked in the arse by Achilles?” Shakespeare asked. The young men seemed weirded out at first, but there was a mischievous look in Achilles’ Eyes as he smiled smugly at Patroclus.

”I will say. I’m quite baffled, but...it’s a while since we’ve had some fun isn’t it Pat? What do you say? Shall we invite these men into our bed?” Achilles finger was sliding seductive from the top of his chest to down to the bottom where the cloth covered his bits. Patroclus chuckled.

the next thing they knew they were all naked. Shakespeare’s big orbs looked from Achilles’ face down to his massive dong, there was no way anyone could get that inside of them.   
“like what you see?” Achilles walked seductively over to Shakespeare and whispered in his ear.

”oh you better prepare yourself Willy, because _my_ willy is soon going to be deep inside your _arse“_ William knew he was mocking his British accent at the end, but he couldn’t seem to care, looking down at his disco stick, that he did indeed call Willy, he was hard, hard for the whole world to see. He needed Achilles’ meat stick. And his needs were served. Achilles spit in his hand and rubbed it over his manhood and moaned, then he grabbed Williams hips and slammed into him. William let out an unholy sound, a very feminine like moan. He could feel Achilles’ member stretching his insides and god it felt good.   
  
“ oh god Achilles, more ahhhh~ faster~“ he moaned and Patroclus leaned over so his chest was touching Shakespeare’s back.

”you like that, don’t you _daddy?_ ” He whispered as he sucked on his neck.

”ahh yes, yes yes! Don’t stop good you feel so good inside of me!” William moaned and soon enough he was filled with Achilles’ delicious mayonnaise, as his own was shot at the ground. William panted as he looked over at the two others.

—

“Well, while my dear Achilles takes care of your... _friend_ , why dont I show you what I have to offer...” Patroclus got down on his knees faces with Platos old stinky love rod, it obviously hadn’t been cleaned in a while so Patroclus made that his mission. Patroclus began licking and sucking on Pato’s middle leg and Plato’s hands immediately found their way Into Patroclus’ hair. Plato didn’t really appreciate the teasing so he slammed his lap rocket fats into Patroclus face, again and again as he moaned, but before he could reach his climax Patroclus pushed away.

”nuh uh grandpa, I’m not gonna let you finish like that. You’ve been a bad boy” he said pushing Patios against the wall.

”and for that, we’re gonna skip the lube” Pato was panting when Patroclus’ schlong rammed Into him with no warning, he groaned, but he didn’t stop him, you see, Pato was a bit of a masochist. He enjoyed the feeling of Patroclus wiener slamming in dry. Pat was ruthless with his thundersword, going faster and harder every minute.

”oh god, patty, yessss I need more, faster! Fuck me with your meter long ding dong, ahh!” It didn’t take long for Pato to finish and Patroclus banana yoghurt blasted into him as he fell to his knees panting.

”well, that was fun” Achilles said walking over to Patroclus to kiss him.

”well it didn’t answer our question” William said.

”is it even a question? Achilles is obviously the bottom” Patroclus said, slapping g his boyfriends ass.

The last thing heard was Shakespeare cursing and Plato maniacally laughing wile yelling “told ya!”


End file.
